Relapse!

   This weekend, there was granted me a grand opportunity to eat some humble pie.  As a young man and teenager, I dealt with some very serious self esteem issues.  I doubt anyone even knows the exact reasons for it.  What I do know is that it's been about three decades of focus and effort in overcoming it and learning to look at things from a completely difference perspective.  The perspective of someone who understands that the gift of life we have is proof of the self evident nature within us all.

   We had a family reunion this weekend.  As we showed up it was as if all of the progress and self confidence that had been developed over the years was checked at the door just like you would an old coat.  For some reason, I reverted to the old very "I" oriented perspective or role.  Someone who needed to prove something, a deep seated desire to make myself important or justify and prop up who I thought I should be.

   I am embarrassed to acknowledge that many of those around me gave hints and made efforts to help me realize what was happening, yet it took until close to the end of evening for the situation to dawn on me.  It was a dramatic shift from who I had become versus who I was years ago. Through this marvelous self induced challenge, the moment had given me the grand opportunity to learn all over again the ideas and perspectives I share with you here on my blog.

   My poor relatives got to find out that being human can also mean dealing with the weaknesses and short comings that each one of must face in more than one segment or our lifespans.

   How to learn the most I can from this?  How do I make the most of it without taking the relapse as failure?  How do you find the strength to move on when you find you have fallen back into old ways and habits without feeling like you have to start all over again (which can be a very daunting feeling)?

   I love a little quote that I came across the other day.  "Today you are given a new chance to start over for today is a new day."  Perhaps the highest quality of human kind is our ability if we apply ourselves, to learn from the past without living in the past.   To prepare for the future without living in the future.

   What are your thoughts and feelings?  Is there moments that you find yourself wondering  "Did I really just do that?"  What do you do to move beyond these moments and to keep the faith of living a good life?

   I believe in the power of creating the positive, recognizing the positive and being a realist without being defeatist.  I believe in you and in the power to learn from our errors.  Our birthright after all is to become more Godlike if we so chose and if we will apply ourselves to the task of overcoming bad thoughts, actions and habits.  Many of the greatest members of humanity were those who oftentimes overcame much worse errors and grievances then our own.

   Peace is yours if you will accept it.  Love is yours if you will share it.  Presence is yours if you will let got of  errors.  Purpose can be had in moving from self to selfless.

Billy B.